go forth with heart

Indeed I was the one championing a move. I lectured about the need to get out of our rut and submit ourselves to something different to challenge ourselves. I even bragged that I would not complain if we move someplace cold (and I do not like the cold, period) or odd, or whatevers, coz how else will we open our eyes, heart and mind wider, and grow? I was the drum-beater, the ass-kicker, the trumpet blower.

Now, in the midst of the moving process, I realized I have overlooked one tiny little detail.

I'm sorry, but we can't pack our beloved friends along, we cannot take along our community with us and worst, we have to say goodbye.

Well, maybe not a small detail, but honestly it is something I have been pushing to the back of my thoughts, trying to squish it so it's kind of small. I was trying to postpone it, dreading it, and downright hating to have to shed tears when we say goodbye to our friends.

And I'll confess to you: I am nervous and scared. Heck, what if people do not like me over there? What if they do not appreciate my humor or my quirkiness? How am I going to find new friends, and build a new community?

I guess, like we did it here, one step at a time. And I am going to take the lead and embarrass myself, but eventually we will make friends.

And at some point, sooner or later, we will say goodbye again.How heartbreaking is that?

But such is life, a string of hello's and farewell's. And every time we leave, we take away bits of heart, and leave behind little chunks of ours as well. This is the exchange of life, love and friendship.

I read in a book about moving with kids about a woman who had to move often with her family and she encouraged her kids to not make attachments, so that leaving will not be miserable. She herself, while deemed as a wonderful person, was lonely and detached, because she did not want her heart to hurt when her family needs to uproot yet again.

But either way, the heart hurts. The heart yearns to make connections, to find laughter, and tears. So we should go forth with all our hearts, to make friendships, connections and memories. Leaving is never easy, but it is a bit easier when your heart has something to tether itself to.

When I tear up at the prospect of having to say goodbye to my friends, I seek the tiny comfort that my sadness and dread is testimony to the beautiful and amazing friends we have here. What a wonderful thing that is! And as someone wise once said, the best way to make friends is to be one. Hopefully we all have been good friends to our friends as well!

And so, we'll go forth with our hearts. Do not be afraid to feel your hearts beat and do not fear that it may ache one day. Because it will.