first times

A good cook knows that it's not what is on the table that matters,

it's what in the chairs.

Ultimately, perhaps what I wrote about the valuable constant of family is really true. So I don't know when the packers swiped the stuff on top of the cabinet and just packed them (and thankfully my driver's license is not on there, but goodness knows what we had left there!), and if we will be fortunate we will get to unpack all of our material possessions in our new home a few months down the road, but the most important thing: every evening we will sit down to dinner and we will look around the table and see each other. Yes, we may be irritated and annoyed at each other more often these days and patience is not exactly in over-supply, but deep within, I sigh with relief and gratitude that I have you all here with me, eating the soggy take-out.

And yes, having said quite some good-bye's the last days, we regret we cannot take our friends with us, and I know you wish we could send the packers over to your friends' houses and have them round up your wonderful play-mates. We cannot do that, but we can take away the friendship, and keep it going. 

Speaking of friends, a friend shared a most refreshing way of looking at a move. She told me every time she had to go to a new place she would think: "Wow, there is just this great person there that I would have a wonderful time with and we will get along really well, and though we've never met I am going to meet her now."

I thought that was a positive way to look at our move, and get excited about the people we are going to meet, the friendships we are going to make. I also wondered what connections could be made between all the people we know. Some of my best friends now were introduced to me by mutual friends, and perhaps some of our friends will eventually become best of friends too!

As I said goodbye to our friends the last days, I had spent quite some time indulging myself in memories. I thought of a lot of "first times" and how I met all these wonderful people here in Arizona. I recall my first questions to them, the first jokes we shared and the first things we did together. The first times we discovered our similarities, our differences, our pet peeves and our common delights. You are going to have a lot of these "first times" too, even if you do not realize it then.

We are going to experience a lot of "first times" together as we set about learning about our new home, meeting new people and making new experiences.

It is true, "first times" are exciting, but they can be a bit scary too. It is not always easy for me to approach someone and introduce myself and make friends; I do not have that kind of personality to say, "Hi! I think you are going to like me very much because I am simply, the most awesome person in the world." I have my concerns and reservations, and yes, I am afraid of rejections. I remember reading to you from a book about making new friends in a new place, that one should just extend one's hand and say, "Hi! My name is XYZ and I am 4 years old! What's your name?" And you looked at me and wondered if I was telling a joke. -- could it be that easy and straight-forward?

Well, I guess it could be, and then there will be times when things do not work out quite as well or as magically. But sometimes I also think some friendships are just meant to be. We shall find out, bearing in mind that to make good friends, you need to be one first.

Some years down the road, we will be looking back on all these "first times" and I am sure you will be very proud and glad with all those first attempts that you dared to make.